Class is in session. Today's lesson is a short one, but it might be the most important one you take all season.
Cuffing season has a way of turning a "maybe" into a habit. You start spending more nights together. You start getting invited to things. And before you know it, you're three months deep in something nobody ever named.
That's how situationships survive: not because anybody planned them, but because nobody stopped to ask the questions. So let's ask them now, before the holidays make it harder to be honest.
Question 1: Do I know what we are?
Not what you hope you are. Not what it feels like on a good night. What you actually are. If you can't answer that in one sentence, that's your first clue.
Question 2: Have we ever talked about it out loud?
Assumptions are not agreements. If the "what are we" conversation has never happened, or it happened and got brushed off, you are guessing. And guessing is exhausting.
Question 3: Are they consistent, or just occasional?
Consistency is love's love language. Someone who is serious about you shows up regularly, not only when they're bored, lonely, or it's cold outside.
Question 4: Am I part of their real life?
Do you know their friends? Have you been around their family? Do they post you, mention you, include you? Or are you a secret they keep in a separate box?
Question 5: Do we make plans, or just "link up"?
Real relationships have calendars. Situationships have "you up?" If every plan is last-minute and on their terms, notice that.
Question 6: How do I feel most of the time: secure or anxious?
This is the one people skip, and it's the one that matters most. Your body knows before your mind admits it. If you're always checking your phone, rereading texts, and wondering where you stand, that anxiety is information.
Question 7: If nothing changed for a year, would I be okay?
Picture this exact situation, no label, same effort, same uncertainty, twelve months from now. If that thought makes your stomach drop, you already know what you need to do.
LET'S TALK ABOUT IT!
If you answered most of these with confidence, beautiful. You might be building something real. Keep communicating.
If you hesitated on more than a couple, it's okay. That's not failure, that's clarity. And clarity is the first step to getting what you actually want, whether that's turning this into a real relationship or walking away with your peace intact.
Want a more detailed read on where you stand? The free Situationship Assessment goes deeper with 14 questions and gives you a score instantly. And if you're ready to do the work, the Guide walks you through 8 classes, from spotting red flags (and green flags) to building a real relationship blueprint. Pair it with the Companion Workbook to write your answers and actually put the lessons into practice.
Your homework, student guest
Step 1: Take the free 5-minute Situationship Assessment. Your score shows up instantly, right on the page.
Step 2: Grab the free Situationship Red Flag Checklist.
Step 3: Ready to do the real work? Pick up the Situationship Survival Academy Guide (Paperback, $19.99), or get the best value with the Bundle of Joy: Guide + Companion Workbook ($27.99). Paperbacks are in limited supply right now, so grab yours while they're here.
Class dismissed. Love ya,
Versace Donn